Reflections, comments and gratuitous insults directed toward last week’s newsworthy people and events.
The Bronze Butt Award
A pair of bizarre events occurred this week in such a coincidental manner that I could almost believe this absurd story of Bigfoot moving to Russia. (I didn’t even know he was looking for a new place. I hope he keeps in touch.)
It seems that Europe’s largest airline will reduce the number of bathrooms on its planes to just one in order to make room for more seats. This story miraculously occurred during the same week that a British auction house announced its plan to auction a slab of metal posterior cut from the bronze statue of Saddam Hussein. The statue was famously toppled by American soldiers during the invasion of Iraq.
While these stories are only connected by my mystical ability to enjoy juvenile humor, they sometimes lead to great news writing. Consider this Pulitzer-worthy phrase: The owner of the metallic derriere,
“. . . who’s been sitting on Hussein’s butt for roughly eight years, says he plans to donate proceeds from the auction to helping injured American and British servicemen, according to the Associated Press.”
I adore prose like that.
This leads me to initiate what I hope to be a regular item here at The MG: the Bronze Butt award. I don’t think I need to explain qualifications.
And the Winner is
The inaugural Bronze Butt award goes to Harold Camping, who claims that the world will end on Oct. 21 in a much quieter manner than his previous prophetic idiocy. The next winner of the Bronze Butt will be any person stupid enough to take this octogenarian flake seriously.
Still Waiting for the Punchline
Democratic strategist James Carville has this to say about the current Republican candidates:
Thus far the Republican field of 2012 is a Democratic dream come true. This crop of candidates is not just weak, it is a joke.
If I were to correct for Carville’s partisanship and my detestation of this panel of simpletons, the entire group would still elicit a violent guffaw. Here is my suggestion for a more intelligent candidate.